Lugubriations

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Seek The End Of This World With Me

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Seek The End Of This World With Me

Two poems by Ebun Sodipo on embodiment, silence, and sisterhood

Jan 18, 2022
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Seek The End Of This World With Me

lugubriations.substack.com

Our first Lugubriation of the new year comes in the form of two original poems by poet, performer, and model Ebun Sodipo. Ebun’s practice is concerned with real and speculative histories of slavery, African cosmology, and the use of shimmer, all of which make appearances in these two poems. She performed variations on these at the recent Frieze Live 2021 curated by Languid Hands. If you’re in London you can see her performance and physical work Drawing A Blank, February 14 - 28. - Roisin

Happenings in No-space

instructions for how to listen

how to feel the rub the slick the wet of tongue on bone in bone 

how to apprehend the thing ing of nothing

nothing: that which stays below the threshold of measurement

imagine to not listen to not hear to leave it to the body

how to hear the fluctuations of a vacuum a void which is full of happenings that might have did

not very well could have happened

a void which is full of escaping su bjec ts scintillating into being here and there and there for here staying way below the threshold of detectability

a void a virtual is full of things of noise there and not there lingering at the edges of apprehension

we hear this virtual this thing in no-thing that allows for sensing the possibility of sensing the always something being there of sensing the mass en masse

a flash something right there no here no no no no not there

gone gone

matter observable is inseparable from the means by which it is observed apprehended caught stilled

make the body into a tool to register the remnants of too quick in and out goings virtual happenings virtual lives these might have definitely did no true way of knowing how existed

make the body too into a thing of no thing to listen to the silence to the flash of the thing ing of nothing could the body too be of the void

silence silence a quiet an absolute quiet is silence

the breath between words the silence is

the beneath of language

a feeling of something

arriving and staying

a hearing then wanting of more

silence is sound

sounding full of sound

silence is sounding of more than

silence of what is could have been will be

a loss a lacking a taking

of measurement apprehension listening tools

it was a silencing

a silencing

in the sounding and in the silence

the body is all

the only sensing tool that can

piece together

the fluctuations of the vacuum

feel though briefly

ghost hands on intention,

Lips brushing the nub of bone at neck.

What say , the body,

What is the taste of this tongue

To come?

What say , the body,

What were before the hold?

Before this new accounting of the silence.

Before full of noise and sounding became silence.

W e listened to the silence and w e cried

Zong!

W e listened to the silence and said

Beloved.

W e listened to the silence and wondered

Oh! Venus, ain’t I?

W e listened to the silence and thought

Of the margins

Of tongues

Of mothers and loss

Of touch and of the image

Sis ter s, listen again to the silence

Attune your bodies

And hear . Hear of the sea,

Those not with you

Though w e are both in the hold;

The sis ter s below deck.

are in the silence.

Stretched in between sensing

Hear, beneath the wash of the sea;

The silent tumult of history and storying;

, of the sea,

The in the hold

…

Ebun at her recent performance at Camden Arts Centre, 2021.

An account of women in the hold

The hold,

Sister,

Sister

the hold.

We are in the hold, sister.

Sister, we are in the hold.

Together, sister,

We are in the hold.

Sister, we are together.

Sister, here we are together

In this hold

In this holding of each other

Sister, we are holding each other

Holding onto each other

Beholden onto each other.

Sister, we are beholden to each other.

.

.

How we spoke with no words, sister,

Only with touch,

Terror passing from skin, to skin.

We had never known each other,

Had only found each other here,

Formed as sister in this hold,

As we began to hold each other.

Sister, that we have each other,

To feel and to hold,

Amongst the dead and the dying,

The drowning and the drowned in their own waste,

Amongst these bodies the ledgers write as male.

.

Sister, sister

I am thrown overboard

I can no longer be by your side

They came for me in our sleep and now

The only skin I feel next to mine is vast and cold.

I am in the water now, sister

I will forever be in the water, my sister.

In the water you shall find me.

Sister, you will feel my brush

With the peak and fall of the waves, sister,

In the sea salt breeze caressing your cheek

Sister,

I will always be holding you now,

You will feel my embrace whenever you press ear to sand

Sister,

In the shiver and joy that roils your body

When you catch your reflection

Sister, I will be with you, holding you

Across seas, and sands, and valleys, and roads

Sister

Through all of time I will be holding you.

I will have held you.

I hold you now.

Sister.

.

Sister,

I am not gone

I am in your body

You will find me in your body, sister

Sister in the water

You will reach me there

In the bend of an elbow

There, in the weight of a laugh.

.

Sister, hear me

We are in the hold

Sister,

This holding of each other is all we have

Sister, if we had strength

We would burn down this hold

Sister, seek the end of this world with me.

- Ebun Sodipo

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